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| Do I have a mood/psychological disorder (what is it)? Please help.? Before I start, I am a younger person (13) so I know that my age could just be the reason of all this. This is how I feel: I feel, like I can't feel. I don't know how to feel because I've almost been told how to feel. At the same time though, I can feel really happy or sad. Mostly I am normal with an angle to the happy or sad side. I am very sensitive and if one person starts whispering I swear they are talking about me, and I know they aren't but at the same time know they are. Then I get mad really quick and almost want to throw a chair at them, even if they aren't talking about me. So then, I will get really disappointed/guilty I was going to do that and get sad. Then I have a mood outburst and cry. Later people notice I was crying, and then I feel really embarrassed. Also, there was a time where guys fixed the water fountain so it squirts at you. I basically had seen them do it (thought they were just talking next to the drinking fountain), but went to get a drink since I was thirsty. I pushed the button, and it squirted on my pants. For a minute I got really angry, because I had seen who did it, and took water and cupped it in my hands. I was going to throw it at them, but pulled back because I didn't want to hurt them, make them hate me, or get in trouble. They were confused and laughed, and that sadness started. I went into the bathroom, and wanted to cut myself but I couldn't find anything to do that with. They started coming in and realized I was upset. Now whenever I see them, I feel embarrassed. I can't face them. Ever. One used to sort of be a friend. Now, whenever I see her I am embarrassed. I bet they think I'm a pussy and sensitive person. I am though. Now, I will explain my feelings other than that. Right now I feel normal. A month ago, around that time I was already really down and making plans basically to cut myself when no one else was home but me. The water fountain thing just really embarrassed me (it happened that day I was really down). Also, I can feel extremely happy and stupid. Around a month ago (a little after the water thing) I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling. We had to write a letter to ourselves pointing out all the good things. I loved myself so much that day I remember rereading the letter a few days later when we had to type it, thinking "what the heck did I write?" Also, recently I've been a little obsessed over drugs. Never had any, but I basically want to. I know a lot about them, from looking on the internet just wanting more and more to get my hands on some mary jane, meth, or lsd. This feeling has died down and now I don't think I ever want to touch meth, cocaine, or heroine. I wouldn't mind anything else though, but even more recently (like yesterday and today) it's died down almost to me not wanting to try drugs ever.. I have never done drugs, but I've had sips of alcohol before. The newest thought, only being in my mind (ever) for the past three or four days is a sex obsession. It's like the drug one, but I can almost experience it. I have been obsessed with my period and vagina. I don't want to talk about it as much, but yep. I have a lot of mood swings. I know it could be my age, but I'm sort of different. I almost have been more mature than most people my age. I'm not obsessed with the mall, tanning, and beauty like everyone else is. Of course the drugs and sex, but that's different. It's not a peer pressure thing or teen thing, it's naturally in my brain. Also, I almost feel like I've been reincarnated because when I was little like three years old, I used to always think that basically all these gods people have are just one big god, not the christian one, but just a god. Back then, I imagined a bunch of people making one big one, but now it's a little like that but different. Sometimes I deny existence but then change my mind and believe again. Also, I basically believed in reincarnation. I always was like "I wonder if when we die, we just go to another world or something." I definitely think I have been reincarnated or how would I think this when I was a toddler. I've researched and found out I may have been something called a "mature soul or an old soul" and probably still am or am now an old one, but was mature or am inbetween. Can you help me with these weird mood disorders, feelings, and happenings I have? I have left out a lot I feel though because this is really long. Thanks for answering though. Even a one sentence answer would be nice. |
| the changes in mood can be associated to a condition called Bi-polar this is where sometimes your mood can change from one extreme to another hence the phrase 'polar' when you think about opposite ends. however given your age there are also many hormone inbalances going on your system relating to puberty and this is most likely the cause in which case you will probably grow out of it... relating to being obesesive this can also be linked with conditions such as ocd in short though given your age i really wouldnt worry too much and given time you will probably grow out of the feelings. |